Q: What do you say when you are comforting a grammar nazi?
A: There, Their, They're.
Q: What's another name for Santa's elves?
A: Subordinate Clauses.
Q: How does an English teacher punish a valley girl?
A: Assign a 10-15 page research paper on the bastardization of the word "like".
Q: What is Grammar?
A: The difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you’re shit.
Q: How do you spell mousetrap?
A: C-A-T.
Q: What is Black and white and read (red) all over?
A: A newspaper
Q: "What letter of the alphabet has got lots of water?"
A: "The C"
Q: "What letter of the alphabet is always waiting in order?"
A: "The Q. (queue)
Q: What begins with T, ends with T and has T in it?
A: A teapot.
Q: Which letters do Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday have in common?
A: None! None of them have "c", "o","m" or "n" in them.
Q: What five-letter word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it?
A: Short
Q: What's the longest word in the dictionary?
A: Rubber-band -- because it streches.
Q: When does a dialect become a language?
A: When its speakers get an army and a navy.
Q: How do you get ten English teachers to agree on the best teaching method?
A: Shoot nine of them.
Q: What's a teacher's favorite nation?
A: Expla-nation.
Q: Name a bus you can never enter?
A: A syllabus
Q: Is there a word in the English language that uses all the vowels including "y" ?
A: Unquestionablely!
Q: What is the longest word in the English language?
A: Smiles. (There is a mile between the first letter and the last letter.)
Those were 18. Now some bonus :
Teacher: What is irony?
Student: "Irony is when something has the chemical symbol Fe."
Don't you know the Queen's English?
Why, yes, I'd heard she was.
A: There, Their, They're.
Q: What's another name for Santa's elves?
A: Subordinate Clauses.
Q: How does an English teacher punish a valley girl?
A: Assign a 10-15 page research paper on the bastardization of the word "like".
Q: What is Grammar?
A: The difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you’re shit.
Q: How do you spell mousetrap?
A: C-A-T.
Q: What is Black and white and read (red) all over?
A: A newspaper
Q: "What letter of the alphabet has got lots of water?"
A: "The C"
Q: "What letter of the alphabet is always waiting in order?"
A: "The Q. (queue)
Q: What begins with T, ends with T and has T in it?
A: A teapot.
Q: Which letters do Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday have in common?
A: None! None of them have "c", "o","m" or "n" in them.
Q: What five-letter word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it?
A: Short
Q: What's the longest word in the dictionary?
A: Rubber-band -- because it streches.
Q: When does a dialect become a language?
A: When its speakers get an army and a navy.
Q: How do you get ten English teachers to agree on the best teaching method?
A: Shoot nine of them.
Q: What's a teacher's favorite nation?
A: Expla-nation.
Q: Name a bus you can never enter?
A: A syllabus
Q: Is there a word in the English language that uses all the vowels including "y" ?
A: Unquestionablely!
Q: What is the longest word in the English language?
A: Smiles. (There is a mile between the first letter and the last letter.)
Those were 18. Now some bonus :
Teacher: What is irony?
Student: "Irony is when something has the chemical symbol Fe."
Don't you know the Queen's English?
Why, yes, I'd heard she was.
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