So lost in his thoughts was Krish that he almost passed by his office. Cursing his wayward mind, he scrambled up the stairs and burst into his room. “You’re late!” was the first word he heard as he was pelted with empty Tiffin boxes and water bottles by twenty angry twelve year olds. “Calm down kids, I’m not that late! It’s just five minutes past the appointed time!” pleaded Krish as he took cover behind his office desk. After twenty seconds, he nervously stepped out of the protection his desk offered and made a calming gesture at the kids. Twenty pointed glares were the reply. If looks could kill, Krish would have been a dead man. ‘Why did I even start this thing?’ he lamented in his mind as he searched for a way to reduce the kids’ ire. An idea made its way into his mind and smiled at his own brilliance. Yes, this idea would work.
“Kids, all I do here is tell you some of my stories to get you interested in literature. Let’s do something different today. How about I share one of my experiences from my school days?” offered Krish as he observed the kids’ reaction. He almost performed a mini-jig as he saw the kids react positively to his proposal. “Well, what are you waiting for? Do we have to tell you when to start?” questioned Akash, a particularly sarcastic boy whose face was covered with pimples. Krish frowned at the question. Sometimes he really hated his job. It wasn’t something he had to do either; he could live a comfortable life off of the royalties he got from his books. It was his desire to contribute to the society that had led him to come up with a most peculiar method of contributing to society; he would tell stories to young kids in the hopes of getting them interested in literature. He had kept the fees to a minimum in order to get maximum participation from the people in the society. His decision had become the cause of many sleepless nights. A loud cough from Akash interrupted his chain of thought. A blush appeared on his face as he saw 20 pairs of eyes staring at him. Krish cleared his throat and began narrating a particularly interesting experience from school.
“I was in my final year when this incident happened. At that time, a new student named Maya had joined the school. She was a year junior to me, and I’d fallen in love with her. She had beautiful brown eyes that twinkled every time she smiled, and curly hair that framed her face.
I’d noticed Maya for the first time at the school’s annual function. As the senior most students in the school, my class had to manage the whole affair. Perhaps it was fate, or maybe it was just a simple coincidence that led me to Maya. I was working backstage when she came up to me and asked for help. What should have been a simple 20-second conversation ended up becoming an epic discussion, and sparks flew in my mindscape.
I stayed in contact with her after the function ended, and the tiny space she had secured in my heart had grown, so much so that every other thought that ran through my mind was of her. I’d spend the day anticipating her, and I’d spend the night rewinding our conversations. Of course, Murphy’s Law happened next.
Maya’s friends had started teasing her because of me, and it made her feel very uncomfortable talking to me. She said as much, and I immediately tried to remedy that. I distanced myself from her and all conversations stopped. My mood took a turn for the worse; my days were spent feeling gloomy. I tried to get in touch with her via letters, but that ended up being a one-way street as none of my letters received letters. I’d ask to meet up with her and she would flat out refuse my requests; I was very sad. Then something happened that changed everything.
You see, lots of people had a crush on Maya. One of these guys came up and had a talk with me. He was someone I knew fairly well, and I would never have imagined that he would have the courage to talk to me; he was short boy, easily intimidated. That day, however, he was full of determination when he approached me. “Krish” he began, “I know you like Maya, and that’s not a problem with me. However, you have to stop whatever it is you’re doing with her.” “What do you mean?” was my clueless reply; I had no idea what he was talking about. “You mean you don’t know?” I was perplexed and irritated at him. I’d clearly expressed my unfamiliarity with the subject and yet he kept on acting as if I knew what he was talking about. “No, I don’t know!”
“You seriously don’t know?”
“I thought I made it clear that I don’t know what you’re talking about!”
“Okay, so the whole thing goes like this. You know that Maya’s friends have been teasing her, right?”
“Yeah?”
“Well, they don’t just tease her; they torment her. Every day she cries, and your letters to her don’t help either. She hasn’t smiled for the past few days and she keeps avoiding you. And you know what I think about this whole thing?”
“What?”
“You’re the root cause of all this! Because of you, she’s always depressed. Because of you, she has no friends and because of you, she spends her days crying!”
His words shocked me. Realisation hit me like a lightning bolt to the heart. Everything became clear; her behaviour, her mood, even her refusal to talk to me.
I felt disgusted at myself. Hatred rose within me, all aimed at myself. I felt revolted then. How could I have been so selfish? How could I have forgotten to think of how my actions would affect Maya?”
“What happened next?” Akash’s eager voice interrupted Krish’s narration. Krish looked up and saw that he had everyone’s attention. He silently cheered within his own mind. “I couldn’t sleep that night”, he started. “Guilt about what I’d inadvertently done tore my insides apart. Right then, I decided I’d apologise to her the next day. At that moment, a strange feeling washed over me; I felt a hundred pounds lighter and something deep inside my sub consciousness clicked.”
“And then?” For the second time that day, Akash’s voice interrupted Krish’s story telling. “I’m getting to it!” the irritation in Krish’s voice showed, and Akash wisely quieted down.
“I apologised to her the next day, and my heart felt immeasurably light; I’d lost some of the guilt that kept me awake all night. By then, I had understood that Maya was probably not interested in me, and I began to behave more like a friend and less like a lover. It was painful but…”
A snore interrupted Krish, and when he looked up, he saw that all the kids had fallen asleep. ‘So much for my experiences!’ he thought as he smiled at the faces of the sleeping children.
- Avash Byanjankar
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