Laxmi did not resist the marriage. She thought “one has to simply marry”. After two years, she gave birth to a son, Sunil. She started spending more time in the shop as Ram had to go to Kathmandu to buy cloth and fabric. Sometimes, she too wanted to go to Kathmandu, but her husband never took her. She did not complain. ‘I am spared the hard work other women in the village have to do,’ she would think. Nevertheless, she felt deprived when she saw youngsters going to school. She desired to be a school-teacher in the village.
Ram’s frequent visits to Kathmandu got him used to urban amenities—expensive alcohol and nice dresses, among other things, and he began despising life in the village market. He sold his shop and a part of his land to buy a small tailoring shop in Kathmandu’s tourist centre, Thamel. The family lived in the backroom. Laxmi had initially not wanted to come to Kathmandu, but the thought of sending Sunil to a school in the city had lured here to the capital. She had transferred her own desire to study onto Sunil, who was soon admitted to a government school.
Laxmi started to worry about Ram’s increased consumption of alcohol while Ram kept her locked up, jealously guarding his beautiful wife. He started beating her, and forced her to work as a dishwasher at a local hotel. The only solace Laxmi found was in her son; the two shared a bond that grew stronger each day.One day, the hotel boy came to her while she had been washing dishes and led her to a dark corner. "Will you sleep with a tourist? You’ll earn the amount you make in a month here in a matter of an hour," he told her.
At first, Laxmi could not understand what he was saying. When she finally did understand, she was shocked beyond words. Then, she started thinking about the empty rice sack at home, about Sunil’s repeated requests for clothes and books and the landlord’s frequent threats; the rent had not been paid in six months.
The hotel boy led her to a room where Andy was sitting with a glass of beer. Laxmi saw that Andy was partly deaf, had a face that was slightly tilted to the left, and that he walked with a perceptible limp.
Andy extended his stay at the hotel and frequently asked for Laxmi. Just before he left, he asked the boy and the hotel manager to convince Laxmi to marry him.
He said he would give them each $5,000 for this.
By this time, Laxmi had managed to save a good amount of money, which she kept secret in the inner folds of her clothes. When Ram started to beat and abuse her one day, Laxmi said to herself, “I can afford a reasonable room now and can also leave this man”.
She soon asked the hotel boy to find a room for her, where she moved in with Sunil.
After a week, the hotel boy asked her to meet the manager. The two tried to entice her to marry Andy. “You will not have to do such dirty jobs in Australia; you can travel in cars and planes, have good food.”
Laxmi was not enthusiastic about the proposition for she first thought of Andy’s physical and mental state. Seeing her lack of enthusiasm, the manager added, “This marriage might pave the way for a bright future for your son. He can study and work there and earn a lot.” Laxmi thought for a while and then nodded her head in the affirmative.
Andy came to Kathmandu with the necessary papers within two months. Laxmi, his fiancée, would be allowed to leave with him while there were still some legalities to settle as far as Sunil was concerned. Laxmi left Sunil with her parents in the village and hoped to come back to get him as soon as possible.
Sydney was a shock to Laxmi. Andy had inherited an apartment from his parents, who were soft to him. At first, Laxmi did not know how to open or close door, use the toilet, the kitchen and fridge, or even clean the house. Andy taught her the most basic things. Slowly, she started learning English; she went to a language-training institute for migrants. She began grasping the basics of life in the city. Every week, she would call Sunil.
Andy had loved Laxmi thinking she would be a loyal, caring wife. He had had some bad experiences regarding women which he wanted to forget. After two years of living with Andy, Laxmi got permanent residency. She was also doing some ‘cleaning’ work to earn extra money, which she sent to Sunil. But she looked tired every morning and she was always thinking, “I can tolerate these sexual abuses for some time still.”
Andy wanted to marry Laxmi desperately. He wanted to secure her for his life. Laxmi wanted the marriage as well, but she first asked that Sunil be brought to Australia. Andy agreed, and helped her bring Sunil as a permanent resident.
The marriage took place a month after Sunil’s arrival. Laxmi said to Sunil, "Andy is your father now." But Sunil was confused for Andy introduced him to others as ‘Laxmi’s son’ and never called him ‘son’.
Sunil soon grew bored as Laxmi could not give him much time. All day, he would spend locked up in his room; even eating by himself. Soon, Laxmi began going to his room to dine together. But Andy could not take this; he felt that Laxmi was giving more attention to Sunil than to him and this made him angry.
Sunil started to see faint blue marks on his mother’s face; the eyes often looked bloated and her voice was always cracked. It was only a matter of time before Sunil began to guess that his mother had problems and that she cried in his absence. Sunil started to feel sad. At school he had been unable to make friends; he too was unhappy.
Laxmi knew that Sunil and Andy hated each other. Still, she felt she had her Sunil with her.
One evening, she found Sunil unconscious in his room, froth oozing out of his mouth. He was hospitalised for a week, but he survived. Sunil had tried killing himself by ingesting pesticide.
His suicide attempt infuriated Andy. He started getting more abusive, and his jealousy got to such an extent that he could not see mother and son spending one minute together. He once even accused them of being "husband and wife"
Tired of the abuse she and her son faced, Laxmi moved to Canberra with Sunil. She divorced Andy when the latter followed her to her new home and tried to get her to return to him. She had her Sunil with her.
But things changed drastically as Sunil grew older. He moved out with his girlfriend after he reached 18. There was plenty of drinking, and Laxmi was often reminded of Ram, her first husband.
"It is normal for a young man to move out of his mother’s home," said Laxmi’s landlady one day. Laxmi sighed and said, "It is going to be a lonely life for me. In the past, I was lonely in the presence of my own people, now I am going to be lonely in their absence." Laxmi’s face showed despair, but beneath all that misery was a look of defiance; one that said its owner would face the uncertainty she had been dealt with all the strength she could muster.
- Jagannath Adhikari
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