Two girls were cycling back home from school. Their long shadows along with that of the animals and people returning home after calling it a day, casted by the sinking sun made that kuchhi road laid across the Shantipur village a reel with its images in motion. They both were in school uniform; sky blue shirt and dark blue skirt.
“Rupa, why are you not speaking? You are unusually silent today,’’ Babita asked, wanting to strike a conversation. “In fact you’ve been gloomy for many days now. I would have asked you but I wanted you to confess it,’’ she continued. A huge truck carrying hay- straw, bound to the local paper factory passed by them teetering in that bumpy road. It was swinging so much that they wondered why it didn’t topple. Following was a tractor, its trailer stripped, with a loud BHAT-BHAT noise. The cloud of dust and smoke engulfed the scene.
“Why are there so many ugly tractors?’’ exclaimed an annoyed Rupa. ‘’Because girls like you need to listen to tractors to utter words with friends,’’ Babita joked. “Did Rakesh hurt you?’’ Babita asked abruptly switching from a joking mood to a somber one, though she still sounded mocking.
“No’’ was the curt rejoinder from Rupa. “Please tell me the cause of your grief then,’’ said Babita in a requesting tone. Rupa’s eyes were now fixed at a distant sugarcane field where it was now harvest time and people were busy chopping and loading those juicy sticks. They were best friends and one’s wound was equally painful for the other. Since their childhood, the two both had been to the same school and each of them had been in the practice of pleasing the other. There were no secrets between them; Rupa’s present behavior was an anomaly.
“You’’ Rupa answered, this time rather softly. “Did you forget that I gave you his love letter? If I had not done so, I suppose the two of your wouldn’t even spoken to each other yet,’’ Babita remarked rather humorously, shrugging off Rupa’s allegation.
“You liked Rakesh as well, why didn’t you keep the letter to yourself?’’ said Rupa. “It wasn’t addressed to me, girl! It was meant for you.’’ “You should have torn it apart. Did you wish to see a boy you like having an affair with another girl?’’ “Frankly speaking, it was not so easy for me either. If it were not for your sake, I would have done otherwise.’’
They walked silently for few minutes, now dragging their bicycles, thanks to the sand deposited along the road—originally meant to be upgraded, but left just so; only to become a hurdle for the two wheeler peddlers.
When the girls got near a sugarcane field, Babita hinted that she wanted to stop. “Let’s request Yadav chacha for some sugarcane,” said Babita. ‘’No, let’s go. It’s getting late’’ said Rupa rather loudly than was necessary.
“Oh, what? Isn’t this Rupa who would sit for hours engaged in chewing those juicy sticks?’’ Babita questioned in rather a way of statement. “I’m obsessed with it. I don’t want to like it anymore.”
“Why?’’
“I feel it is also one of the causes of my tension.”
“What tension?’’
“I don’t know’’
“‘I don’t get you yaar! You acting insane,’’ said Babita and although she tried asking Rupa what the matter
really was, Rupa wouldn’t stop to hear further queries from her, so they departed.
On the way, Rupa stopped at the Dudhmati Mai’s temple to pray for the courage that she needed to talk to her mother about something ‘very serious’. When she reached home her mother was milking the buffalo and her brother was playing a hopping game at the porch. That night, her father had not come for he had over-time duty. “It will be perfect to talk to mother today,’’ she thought. However desperate she was, she could not gather courage enough to start a talk except for saying, “My head is paining’’ upon her mother’s enquiring why she had entered the room with a frown. Her mother massaged her head and without knowing when, Rupa happened to fall asleep.
The next day at school, Rupa met Rakesh during the break. He was in the same grade as her but in a different section.
“You are not serious about me. Do you know what’s going on in my head these days? This suffocation will probably turn me mad’’ she said with her moist eyes. “Please don’t utter such words. I’ve talked with my brother. As soon as he talks with father, we will come to talk with your parents. And…. Did you ever try to know your parents’ view on your marriage?’’, that was what he had said with a blend of guilt and assurance.
“They will be more than happy. It’s been me who’s refused to marry till now,’’ she had replied.
That day Rupa was a bit relaxed and talked more with Babita on the way back home despite the teacher’s scoldings back at school. “Hey Babita do you know how it feels to sleep in the middle of these sugarcane plants’’ she said giggling.
“What?’’
“A few rashes and scratches, but you don’t get a chance to mind it. You never feel that, in fact you’re…”
“I know that. Last year when I had gone to my maternal home all of us slept in the sugarcane field after working there till midnight. The next week was a strike and it was a rush to finish the work beforehand.’’ Babita had interrupted Rupa as if she were a kid answering the teacher’s question when he knows it’s the other’s turn to answer. Rupa gave her a ‘I-don’t- mean- that- way’ look.
In the evening Rupa was listening to one of the many F.M. stations she could listen to (it was a fancy for her). The 8 p.m. news bulletin aired, “One Rakesh Kumar Mandal of Sakhuwa, Mahendragar was gunned down to death in a police encounter near Aurahi river. The deceased was said to be a member of …………….. other armed member were ………….’’ When she woke up, it was 5 in the morning. She didn’t remember when she’d fallen asleep after sobbing until what had felt like eternity. How could she be so sure it was him? She had never known he was an ‘armed robber’ as they said. A lover’s instinct perhaps! She had a pretty confused state of mind. She could not decide whether it was alright that she didn’t have a robber as a husband or whether it was grief that was bestowed upon her.
She could only judge that now her path forked ahead and she had to choose one. Had they not cleared down the sugarcane fields, he could have hidden in the sugarcane maze and thus might have survived; she sometimes thought so. She hated the sugarcane juice even more. She
could neither grimace in pain nor hide her sorrow. Very often, it rolled down her eyes.
After a month, Rupa one day sought for permission to go to Babita’s home for a combined study with her mother. She went missing from the day. A letter was recovered from her bed later which read ‘’ I’m with Jitender and I think I’ll be happy with him. SORRY!’’
Jiteender was Rupa’s neighborhood boy who had once proposed to her two years ago but she had abruptly rejected citing for his ugly facial. Now he had quit his studies and was working as a barber in Kathmandu. He had recently arrived home and was excited to discover Rupa’s change in behaviour towards him. A few months later she gave birth to a child whom she considered as a narrow beam of light in her dark life through a small chink. Alone, she knew it was created only by herself, with a little bit of help from Rakesh.
- Sudip Baral
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