Living in the moment

I walked along the small wooden bridge that weaved its way through a thicket of trees. The lamps that bordered the outside lit everything just enough so I could see where I was going. The sun had just gone down and the sky was as clear as ever. I hadn’t bothered to bring a notebook or anything. I didn’t feel like writing. All I really wanted to do was relax. The sky was so clear and the stars seemed so big that when I’d looked out my window after dinner, I’d been tempted into going to the beach for a while. I walked for a few minutes before the trees around me began to disappear and the wood under my feet gradually turned into sand. The sounds of the ocean began to make themselves apparent, and before I knew it the trees were gone. Nothing but the open sea lay in front of me. The stars filled the sky from horizon to horizon, and a small crescent moon was randomly placed in the middle of it all.

I slipped off my sandals and felt the cool sand on the bottoms of my feet. It was quiet and peaceful; not a soul around. Only the sounds of the crashing waves could be heard and the stars seemed about three times as bright as they were back home. When I went closer to the water I could smell the dampness in the air. It was refreshing. It wasn’t a feeling I was accustomed to. Once in sight of the tide I walked along the shoreline, just taking in the natural beauty of it all. The night seemed so calm. I continued to walk slowly along the beach, just out of reach of the growing tide, and I periodically looked up into the sky. Everything above me made me feel so small, so insignificant. After a few minutes along the shore I went up the beach a little ways to look for a place to sit down. It was then when I spotted someone sitting in the distance. I could only see what looked like the dark outline of a young woman. I couldn’t see anything more, but I had a feeling I knew who it was. 

I approached her. There wasn’t enough light to see her face clearly, but I could imagine her dark eyes and brown hair when she turned her head towards me. My heart began to beat a little harder. 

“I was hoping I’d see you here,” she said as I approached.  

“You did?” I responded.

“Yeah... this seemed too beautiful an opportunity for you to pass up. So I figured you’d come,” her voice was really soft, almost a whisper. I set down my sandals and sat on the sand next to her. I crossed my legs at my ankles and leaned back onto my elbows, just as she was seated. “If I can’t be inspired by a night like this, then I probably don’t have any hope,”’ I said.

“Still searching for that inspiration, huh?”

“Yeah . . . I am. And the only thing I’ve found that helps is talking to you.”

She took a deep breath and then laid flat on the sand before responding. “Glad I could help.”

After a minute I did the same. I could feel the grains of sand shifting to fit the contours of my body. “I’m beginning to wonder whether of not this was what I was meant to do, you know...?”

“What?”

“I just... I don’t know,” I sighed. “You ever think about what you were meant to do in your life?”

“Too many times actually,” she began. “And every time I think about it the answer always seems to change. Right now though, I’m meant to paint. And to sketch. And to draw. I was meant to put earth’s beauty onto a canvas.”

“It’s easy to say that when you know what your passionate about,” I responded.

“And you’re not passionate about your writing?”

“Well, I am. It’s just, maybe I wasn’t meant to become an author.”

“What else could you be meant for?”

“I don’t know. Nothing, I guess.”

She paused for a moment. “Everyone’s meant for something. Even you.”

Silence.

“You don’t believe me,” she said.

“Well if what you say is true then what am I meant to do?”

“Above all else, above painting and writing. Above athletics and money. Above anything else in this world is the fact that everyone—including you and I—was meant to love,” she said.

I was surprised by her response. “Love . . . you use the term so loosely.”

“But I don’t,” she said, running her fingers softly over my hand. Her touch was gentle and I let her fingers run though my own. Her grip tightened slightly, as if she were making sure I wouldn’t let go. I had no intention of ever letting go.

I turned towards her for a second wanting to see her face. A surge of emotion entered my body, and at the moment I wanted nothing more than to hold her in my arms and to kiss her. I saw a smile come onto her face.

“This would make a nice short story,” she said after a moment, her voice was still almost a whisper.

“What’s that?”

“You and I . . . this weekend . . . right now,” she replied.

“I guess, maybe. An even better portrait if you ask me though,” I said.

“It’d be difficult to see the canvas wouldn’t it?”

“Yeah.”

“But we could wait,” she responded.

“Until when?”

“Sunrise,” she said, letting go of my hand to reach behind her. She pulled out a blanket and spread it across our lower body. She put her arm around my stomach and then laid her head onto my chest. “I told you I was hoping you’d come.”

She was so close I could feel her breathing as her chest rhythmically went up and down. My body suddenly felt weightless and my heart began to beat quicker. I wondered if she could hear it.

“Something tells me that tomorrow is going to hurt,” I began after a few minutes, speaking softly.

“Yeah . . . I know,” she said. “To think that in only a few hours we’ll be leaving each other. It’s hard to imagine never being able to see you again,” she sighed.

“It’s something I don’t think we should talk about right now through,” she lifted her head and looked at me. “Sometimes living in the moment is the best thing to do. I really don’t want to think too far ahead. Right now... I’ve never felt so happy.”

She leaned in to plant a soft kiss on my lips. She pulled her head away slowly, paused a second to smile, and then laid her head back down onto my chest where it had been before.

Neither of us said anything for the rest of the evening. There was no need. She was right, why think into the future when the present is so fulfilling? There was a part of me that didn’t want to sleep. I wished it would never end. Her body against mine made me nice and warm though, and her rhythmic breathing began to make me drowsy.

Before I knew it, my eyes were beginning to droop. I took one last look up at the stars and then subconsciously closed my eyes, falling asleep.

- Divya Bhusal